When I Grow Up

on first day signs + a writing prompt for you

Welcome to Writing in Company. Each week I share some words and a writing prompt, meant to be jumping-off points for you to write about what matters. Use the prompts however you like—to journal, to draft thoughts for your own writing project, as meditation or prayer ideas, or for another creative endeavor. If this one doesn’t resonate, take a look back through the archive for one that does. Grab your pen and paper, and let your words loose on the page.

These last weeks my social media feed has been full of back-to-school photos. Children—taller since I last saw them—standing on front steps holding signs: First Day of 1st Grade. Fourth Grade. Ninth Grade. Senior Year. A teacher friend holds a sign that says "First Day of 29th Grade.”

Some signs are more detailed than others, showing the name of the school, or a teacher, a favorite color, or best friend. Some list what the child wants to be when they grow up—A marine biologist. A doctor. A pet shop owner. A drummer.

One family photo includes two dressed-up girls ready to go—one with keys in her hand—and a brother still in his socks, all holding their signs, with varying shades of eye roll at the parent photographer.

The college drop-off photos show sweaty first-year parents assembling under-bed drawers, hanging around for one last hug, long past when beds are made. It gets easier, I want to tell them. Or maybe we learn to line our hearts with harder armor.

I don’t see college students holding signs. Maybe no one thought to pack paper and markers. Or maybe the parents know better than to ask their young adult to commit something self-defining to paper and a photo. Everything might change. Perhaps much of it should.

Who we will be is still being formed—all our lives. At one time I would have put on a first-day-of-school sign that I wanted to be a figure skater like Dorothy Hamill. Later, it was a secretary for my dad, then a teacher or an actress. Finally, I became a pastor. Now I am also a writer. But I am still not quite sure what I want to be when I actually grow up, and I’m already a member of AARP.¹ Most days I know my best work has something to do with words, and meaning-making, and teaching, and God—but the way all that gets blended and poured out varies daily/weekly/seasonally.

I’m also working at showing up as a good daughter-sister-mother-wife-friend. And a relatively healthy person in all the ways that matter. And as a good citizen. And as my dog’s person (which frankly, I don’t have to work very hard at—I’m just that lucky.)

I am trying to get better about showing up honestly and authentically, especially with those closest to me. This should be easier than it is.

Imagine if we all started showing up with signs displaying what is most true about ourselves right then, instead of what is socially acceptable or expected from us.

We might hold a sign that says:

• First Day of New Meds

• First Day of Job I’m Not Sure I Can Do

• First Day of Not as Much People-Pleasing (if it’s okay with you)

Or maybe our signs would say:

When I grow up I want to be…

• in a better mood

• not so lonely

• honest about who I am

I don’t have any tattoos (yet…) but I wonder if that’s what some tattoos are about—a visible sign of who the person with the ink is, or was, or might yet be.

Come to think of it, that’s what writing helps us figure out too—who the person with the ink is, or was, or might yet be.

I take my pen and paper or keyboard, and my impulses for meaning-making, teaching, God, and words, and my current questions and wondering, and my conviction that writing can be transformative, and spin them around until something like this post comes out. They are always too wordy to fit on a sign for a photo; but added up, the words capture my evolving self, week by week. Each time, I learn a little more about who I am, and who I might yet be when I grow up, someday.

How about you?

a writing prompt or three

What’s on your sign today? What is true for you, as your most authentic self?

What do you remember about what you wanted to be when you grew up, as a child? How did it evolve over the years?

What or who might you yet be when you grow up?

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Let me know what you think about the prompt, or come back and add some of what you write in the comments.

Know someone who might enjoy this prompt or others? Please share!

Photo by Deleece Cook on Unsplash

1. I think this used to stand for the American Association of Retired Persons, but there is no reference to that name visible on their massive website homepage. Now they go by the acronym only and say they are “a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization that empowers people to choose how they live as they age.” I mostly signed up for the free car trunk organizer, but maybe I’ll stick with it.